Talk Back to the Internal Critic
Adapted from: Burns, D. D. (1999). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: Collins.
Self-degrading statements create and feed negative feelings and
poor self-esteem.
Three step “talk back” process:
- As self-critical thoughts go through your mind, teach yourself to recognize them and write them down
- Look for the distortion in the thought
- Form a more realistic self-evaluation by talking back / challenging them
| Automatic Thoughts | Cognitive Distortion | Rational Response |
| (Self-Criticism) | (Self-Defense) |
What will this do for me?
The triple column technique, or daily record, will help you to become more objective with your thoughts and often feel better and be more positive. This could result in better practising, performance, and self-esteem. With time and practice you’ll develop skills to focus more positively on a task without an internal ‘judging’ dialogue.
Scenario:
You are having a lesson with your teacher and you are making many more mistakes than you ever have before.
Step one:
What are your thoughts? Write them down as they are the cause of you being upset. They are the self-critical / automatic thoughts for the left hand column.
“I’m a terrible player.”
“My teacher must think I’m useless.”
“I’m never going to be a professional.”
“I should be a much better player than this.”
“I’m a failure.”
“My teacher hates me.”
Step two:
Using your knowledge of cognitive distortions, identify the thinking errors in your negative automatic thoughts
“I’m a terrible player.” All-or-Nothing Thinking / Labeling and Mislabelling
“My teacher must think I’m useless.” Magnification and Minimization
“I’m never going to be a professional.” Overgeneralization
“I should be a much better player than this.” Should Statements
“I’m a failure.” Labeling and Mislabelling
“My teacher hates me.” Jumping to Conclusions
Step 3:
Substitute a more rational thought in the right column. These thoughts are much less upsetting. Try to see the truth and write something down that is realistic and rational.
Example:
For “I’m a terrible player” you could write “I usually play really well. Today not so much but I’m still a good musician.” If you can’t come up with a rational response, it can be returned to later or you could ask others how they would respond.
Avoid emotional reactions that use the word “feel.” I feel… Instead write the thought that has formed that emotion.
Automatic Thoughts Cognitive Distortion Rational Response
(Self-Criticism) (Self-Defense)
“I’m a terrible player.” All-or-Nothing Thinking & Labeling I usually play really well. Today not so much but I’m still a good musician.
“My teacher must think I’m useless.” Magnification and Minimization She knows I’m good at some things. In fact she compliments me often.
“I’m never going to be a professional.” Overgeneralization I’ve already had some gigs. If I keep progressing I can get even more.
“I should be a much better player than this.” Should Statements I do need to improve on things, but I did get an A on my last recital.
“I’m a failure.” Labeling and Mislabelling I did make mistakes today but they can’t mean I’m a total failure.
“My teacher hates me.” Jumping to Conclusions My teacher was frustrated but I know he or she cares that I get better.
Last but not least:
Record how upset you were after writing each automatic thought. Once you have identified the cognitive distortion and given a rational response, record how upset you are now. Did it decrease? That’s a sign the method is working for you. For blank examples of how to record these refer to one of the following:
http://bridgmandocs.com/forms/DTR.pdf
http://media.psychology.tools/Worksheets/English/Daily_Record_Dysfunctional_Thoughts.pdf?
[toggle title=”How can McGill Help?”]
- De-Stress Workshops
- McGill Workshops & Groups
- McGill Wellness & Life-Skills Workshops (Including CBT for Anxiety & Stress / Coping with Perfectionism)
- McGill Library – Music performance anxiety – selected resources
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[toggle title=”Other Resources:”]
- Stress and Food Blog
- The Bulletproof Musician
- Feeling Good – The New Mood Therapy by David Burns
- More books by David Burns
- Cognitive Behaviour Therapy App
- More from Optimism apps
[/toggle]
[toggle title=”References”]
- Agras, W., & Clark, D. (1991) The Assessment of performance anxiety in musicians. Am J Psychiatry, 148, 598-605. http://dx.doi.org/10.1176/ajp.148.5.598
- Antony, M. M., & Swinson, R. P. (2009). When perfect isn’t good enough: Strategies for coping with perfectionism. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
- Burns, D. D. (1999). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: Collins.
- Chang, J., Lin, P., Midlarsky, E. & Zemon, V. (2008) Silent illumination: a study on Chan (Zen) meditation, anxiety, and musical performance quality. Psychology of Music, 36(2), 139-155.
- David, P., Kenny, D. & Oates, J. (2003) Anxiety Disorders, 18, 757-777.
- Craig, D., Davidson, O., Kendrick, M. & Lawson, D. (1982) Cognitive and behavioral therapy for musical-performance anxiety. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 50(3), 353-362. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.50.3.353
- Fidler, H., & Steptoe, A. (1987) Stage fright in orchestral musicians: a study of cognitive behaviour strategies in performance anxiety. British Journal of Psychology, 78, 241-249. DOI: 10.1111/j.2044-8295.1987.tb02243.x
- Franklin, J. & Osborne, M. (2002) Cognitive processes in music performance anxiety. Australian Journal of Psychology, 54(2), 86-93. DOI: 10.1080/00049530210001706543
- Himple, D. & Nagel, J. (1989) Cognitive-behavioural treatment of musical performance anxiety. Psychology of Music, 17, 12-21. doi: 10.1177/0305735689171002
- Kenny, D. T. (2011). The psychology of music performance anxiety. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
- Powell, D. (2004) Treating individuals with debilitating performance anxiety: an introduction. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 60, 801-808.[/toggle]
[toggle title=”Photo”]Photo sourced through Creative Commons.org Photo by George Hodan[/toggle]
Very interesting material. Reminds me of self-help books I’ve read. The books describe techniques like visualization, intentional distortions meant to make little of a bothersome situation or person. The books also discuss starting and building new routines, and reinforcing positive flow. I’d like to bring up an experience from long ago. In several ways, it was a high water mark for me as a pianist. I studied piano performance at SUNY Buffalo, after having taken seven years off between high school and college. One requirement for the bachelor’s degree, of course, was to do a recital. The program I chose was exceedingly difficult, for a Bachelor’s candidate (Bach, Beethoven, Bartok, and Ravel), and it turned out to be very successful. However, I found it difficult to gather positive feedback because of my interpretations of the entire process. A standing ovation became my “friendly” audience. My piano professor, standing with everyone and shouting, “Bravo, bravo” turned into “It was pretty good”. Even as I continued to gather positive remarks, I became more and more skeptical about the meaning of people’s comments, and more cynical about the promise waiting for me in the future. Eventually, I decided to go into pop music, with which I have had some real successes, but pop music a different world from classical music, and through decades of rocking and rolling, I couldn’t avoid the feeling that I had failed to achieve any peaks.
Having recently found the original tape of the recital, I was forced to admit to my friend, a pianist like me that I did an excellent job, and that I was indeed very talented. I learned very poignantly that I was capable of playing the way I wanted to, and to high standards to be expected of a serious player.
I was 29 at the time, and since that day, I have played a lot to be sure. Now I am happy to still be involved in pop music, because it is easier to play than classical. This is very important, because in the year 2001 I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, which threatened to end any career I could contemplate. My PD has surely presented me with a whole new truckload of difficulties, both physically and cognitively. I don’t have many fancy methods for overcoming tremors and memory lapses and such. I would describe most of my strategies under the general heading, “True Grit”. I would love to see more research applicable to players like me, with special needs, and specifically cognitive issues, such as short and long term memory lapses. I will try to utilize the techniques described here, and others. Thanks for the invitation to read and comment.
This is an excellent article as it addresses a topic that gets little attention, but can be all consuming for performers. I believe that all musicians experience these feelings to varying degrees and strategies to overcome these issues are both welcome and necessary. I loved the “steps” identified to help musicians work through their anxieties and negative self talk. I also loved that practical scenarios and solutions were given. This is a helpful and much needed blog!!
Thanks for your feedback, Michelle. I agree that many musicians experience this. It is also something for us to consider in our music classroom teaching. Do we set young musicians on a path that helps them think and see clearly about their music making? I think they will not only be happier but also able to be more productive as they can navigate the emotions that result from self-critical thoughts. I look forward to bringing this into my future teaching and conducting. Thanks for the support of the blog.
These are definitely some good first steps to learning to conquer your performance anxiety! I’ve definitely fallen for some of these; it’s interesting to see what I can label them as now.
Thanks, JP.
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I was told very early on to write only positive notes in my music as instructions, as anything with a negative instruction creates this block where you ignore the first part and just see what you were trying to avoid in the first place. If you write “don’t rush,” ultimately what you see is just “rush,” which is what you end up doing. That same concept should be added to how we talk to ourselves, which is so much harder to do. As somebody who spends a huge amount of time talking negatively about herself (under the guise of being realistic or honest), I’ve only very recently started to notice how much this is holding me back. I look forward to trying out this process in the practice room, on stage, and in my day-to-day life.
Thanks for your message, Casey. You bring up a great point about negative instructions and how they can lead to negative results. Treating ourselves well is very important for not only happiness but also productivity. I also think it’s important to surround ourselves with positive colleagues, musicians, conductors and teachers.
We all know “realistic” and “honest” are important if we are going to improve. I think understanding the cognitive distortions can help us actually be that without letting the negative cloud, or minimize, or label us or our playing. I’ve personally gotten much better at recognizing them in my day-to-day living and music making. You might want to check out the resources section to see the books, apps, and other things that are available. Burns, D. D. (1999). Feeling good: The new mood therapy is an excellent place to start.
I definitely agree with what Casey said about negative vs positive instruction. I’ve been adding this concept to my music practice (and triathlon training!) and it’s made an enormous difference for me. I find that when I give myself instruction using positive language, I’m way more likely to achieve what I want. I have found certain words that I come back to often now, that end up being like a “mantra” for when I’m tackling a passage that requires the utmost focus! Words that work well for me are “ease” “easy” “steady” “strong”.
Using positive language is so common in sports training. When I was a kid I swam competitively. One year I had a coach that made us get out of the pool and do 10 push-ups if we ever used negative language, or complained. As a whiny 13 year old, I started off the year getting really good at push-ups. Positive attitudes eventually became contagious, and for me and many of my teammates, it was our best year ever. (I raced so fast back in those days!)
I remembered this swimming story only last fall, when the topic of positive language came up in a discussion I was having with a friend. Doesn’t it seem obvious that if we speak to ourselves well, we’ll do well? To put it all into practice, I dedicated a practice journal to positive (but truthful) statements about my playing/practice/feelings/whatever. It was like a pep-talk book in a way. The little book is full now, and I think it was worth doing 100%.
Besides positive talk, the largest idea that helped me truly conquer performance anxiety was this: Nurture love! We dedicate our lives to music because we love it. I often forget to be grateful for these performance opportunities. We are so lucky to get to share what we spend hours, months, even years preparing. We need to remind ourselves to have fun and to love what we’re doing, even if “*oops!* my finger when down on the wrong key there!”
That was a concise and helpful article, valuable to many I’m sure! I’d also like to remind people of the classic book “The Inner Game of Tennis” to help deal with those destructive thoughts in the moment of music making. I used to find it helpful when playing a solo (classical or jazz) to focus on my tone. It sufficiently distracted me enough from other areas of concern to allow me to relax. It seemed to help my students as well when they had to perform playing tests for me.
Thanks, Mark. I like the idea of focusing on “your tone” in order to distract from other areas of concern. I saw a clinic last year that had McGill Professor Dr. Jacqueline Leclair coach a bassoonist on one of the most technically difficult excerpts. She encouraged the player to focus on phrasing which didn’t seem important compared technical demands but the re-focusing allowed the technique to happen. It was impressive. Thanks for your post.
Great ideas here! I have fallen into every single one of these traps for sure. My negative thinking is definitely keeping me from achieving my goals as a musician and it is certainly time for that to change!. The above proposed 3 step process makes so much sense- I may have to start keeping a journal in the practice room. Time to start analyzing my performances more rationally!
This is exactly the sort of thing the academic music world needs to delve into to continue making progress with its students. So many students (musically inclined or not) struggle with self-esteem issues and see their performance as a reflection of some personal flaw, and cognitive therapy – as well as meditation, exercise with a healthy diet, mindfulness – can help combat these ailments and allow people to fully recognize and live up to their own potential. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for your comment, Daniel. I totally agree and support the idea of everyone living up to their potential. Some of my colleagues wrote about mediation and diet so I encourage you to look through more of the blog and add your thoughts.
http://sites.music.mcgill.ca/mpbs/eat-well-play-well/
http://sites.music.mcgill.ca/mpbs/the-art-of-zen-music-playing/
Thanks for your comment, DD. Change can be good and a journal is an excellent idea. Just like music, conquering our negative thoughts takes practice, reflection and time. Once you’ve got some self-critical thoughts written down, you’ll be ready to look for distortions, and the rational responses will come. It might not make you feel 100% better every time, but you’re more than likely to see improvement in your thoughts, moods and feelings. You might check out the “Other Resources” menu. Some of these helped me a great deal.